am-`
michelle
black girl aka chocolate (:
28o81985
twenty-two
cafe del mar
beach captain
promiscuous
workaholic
alcoholic
shopaholic
procrastinator
party animal
beach bummer
lovee-`
my dearest sweethearts(:
my darling girlfriends (:
ah-bee (:
hugs&kisses
interlocked fingers
playing in the rain
sunrise&sunset
fireworks
star gazing
retail therapy
party therapy
food haven
speed rides
hard liquor, bubbly champagne
sweets!
wants-`
braids/cornrolls?
new phone
new watch
new hair makeover
sneakers/flats/heels/boots
skinny haviannas
newurbanmale clock
jacket/pullover/cardigan
the boyfriend's shirt
one more boyfriend's shirt
skinny belt
paul smith floral perfume
diesel perfume
calvin klein europhia perfume
calvin klein eternity perfume
dior fahrenheit 32 perfume
kenneth cole RSVP perfume
that ray bans shades
marc ecko E850361
full body massage&spa
lose 5kg
trip down to port dickson (:
photo with *him
a good holiday!
vehicle license
you-`
alinah`
alison`
joan`
jo-ann`
lynnly`
pek geok`
regina`
nadiah`
helly`
song`
linette`
eunice`
bala`
dizzy`
joleen`
lays`
Monday, January 17, 2005
]] `/ Lucky is the man who wins the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who wins the last love of a man.
i'm back again. its now night and i'm feeling sleepy le, but i haven't done my gmp tutorial le. gotta do it before i knock off later. my 2 reports are done le- both gmp and industrial. freshly printed as well. heh.
oh well, my nu er came over nyp to meet me today. had late lunch with her at food junction before she headed over to my place to slack. had quite alot of fun and we managed to persuade peksy dear to drop over after her work. heh. well, i did up piggy's blog and now its simply sweet. heh.
just read peksy dear's blog and i agree with her. she should give up and forget ba. i noe it sounds really bad, but i don't want to see a friend upset over someone, what more she's my dear! well, i'm absolutely disappointed with that guy thou. he's hurt her enough and its also long enough. if he doesn't have the heart to go into it, i would wish he never made her go so deep. well, whatever it is- be it good or bad, i'll always support her. you rock, dear! i have faith in you, and i'm sure you have thought it really thoroughly. i'll support you even if you say you still hold on, or that you want to clearly forget. i'll be here!
well, it seems like while some of my friends are happily attached, some are hurt and torn apart by decisions. some would like to forget the pain they've carried for the few years, some would like to that flame of passion to stop burning, whereas some are just waiting for that special someone to make the move. i guess everyone are sensitive to the presence of having that someone around them, and i guess they desire to have that someone with them- at least to have company and be loved. i hope and wish all of them well. =)
hmmm, what about me then? well, from my above verse- i tink i'm still waiting ba. now, let me see- its been exactly 1 year, 1 month and 29 days since my last relationship. how does that sound? nothing much right? well, i'm learning to take nothing about the figures now. i'm learning to live my life well now, and not let people affect it. i guess that last relationship was all nothing but lies and hurt. you may say that i was naive, i am. i guess when people are in love, be it girls or guys- they're naive in their relationships and turn their eyes only to their special ones and seek their utmost attention. well, after that relationship ended- my life went through ups and downs. it was definitely not a smooth journey where i grew mature from. i was stubborn and went on my own ways to torment myself, inflicting wounds on myself that seem to relieve the pain i kept within. but everything still fell apart. well, i guess i never kept it all in at all. i hid away from people and perhaps got depressed. trust was broken time and time again, till i was tired to trust anymore. i don't deny that i had infatuations for a few guys for that period of lonliness. but i never ever did anything about it, neither did i even attempt to fall for any of them deeper. i guess the shadow of being hurt still lingers. now, i dare say i may have feelings for someone, but i don't think its going to last long. though from the time i was fond of him till now, dates about 3 months. i guess it won't last. its like an on- off thing, something which i dare say i'm not sure if the feelings are still even there. it would be so selfish of me if the feelings have faded, wouldn't it? well, even though my heart crumbles everytime i hear a sad love song or watch a sad love movie, and feel the deep lonliness in my heart and soul- i'm still looking. hoping to find that special someone, and i would dearly wish to be his last love. naive again aye? oh well, to say it bluntly- i'm afraid of being hurt once again. i don't have confidence in myself as it had crumbled below where it started. and yes, there's another thing- i'm not even sure its real but i'm afraid. i'm afraid that i would have the phobia against guys. is there such a thing? or am i ridiculous once again? oh well, i guess- guys never seem to stay long. other den my brother. i'm afraid. oh well, forget whatever i say ba.
alrite. gotta do my gmp tutorial ba. gotta hand in tmr. oh well, all the best =)
[
dreamt `]
at
10:42 PM
