am-`
michelle
black girl aka chocolate (:
28o81985
twenty-two
cafe del mar
beach captain
promiscuous
workaholic
alcoholic
shopaholic
procrastinator
party animal
beach bummer
lovee-`
my dearest sweethearts(:
my darling girlfriends (:
ah-bee (:
hugs&kisses
interlocked fingers
playing in the rain
sunrise&sunset
fireworks
star gazing
retail therapy
party therapy
food haven
speed rides
hard liquor, bubbly champagne
sweets!
wants-`
braids/cornrolls?
new phone
new watch
new hair makeover
sneakers/flats/heels/boots
skinny haviannas
newurbanmale clock
jacket/pullover/cardigan
the boyfriend's shirt
one more boyfriend's shirt
skinny belt
paul smith floral perfume
diesel perfume
calvin klein europhia perfume
calvin klein eternity perfume
dior fahrenheit 32 perfume
kenneth cole RSVP perfume
that ray bans shades
marc ecko E850361
full body massage&spa
lose 5kg
trip down to port dickson (:
photo with *him
a good holiday!
vehicle license
you-`
alinah`
alison`
joan`
jo-ann`
lynnly`
pek geok`
regina`
nadiah`
helly`
song`
linette`
eunice`
bala`
dizzy`
joleen`
lays`
Thursday, February 10, 2005
to the very special someone out there:
i feel useless. somehow after reading your blog- i feel guilty. in someway or other, i feel i was the one who pushed you into this mess. i know there's nothing i can do for you now, neither is there anything i can do to make you feel better. wells, i guess i did the wrong thing this time. never did i think that it'll turn out this way, and neither did i think that you'll be so very hurt after all these. wells, who wouldn't? i'm so very sorry.
i was once like you too. i truly understand how you feel- as a spare. but, this time i was the one who started it. i guess i shouldn't have did everything to make you happy. wells, now you're hurting so much- the way i was so hurt the last time.
you were there for me the last time. you stayed by me through the times i was depressed and all. you stood by me, even though you were busy and all. you made time for me. i thank you for everything. i truly do.
now its my turn.
i promise to stay with you. i promise to stay with you, accompany you to have a heartful laugh, lend you my shoulder when you need to lean on, give you a hug when you need one. i promise to make time for you, cause i want you to feel happy once again. i don't wish to see you eat up yourself as well. it pained you and the rest when i wallowed myself in self-pity the other time. for now, all of us would rather you be tempremental then wallow yourself in self-pity as well. i wish you all the best, and we would want to see you grow with self confidence. and i'm sure you can!
give yourself time to heal. i took a break from everything to heal. i can boldly tell you without lying that i may not have totally healed. but i'm still trying, still giving it a shot, still giving myself a chance. and i'm sure you can too! don't give up on yourself, just like what you have told me before. give yourself the time and chance to heal. don't rush into it. you'll hurt yourself even more if you do.
just the other day, i was talking to sylvia about this on the train.
in life, we have many fwens. many good fwens whom we can share our gossips and our heartaches with. everyone have fwens who have different roles in others' life. i may be a mentor to my younger fwens, but to my older fwens- i may be a little kid. wells, i have many sets of fwens in my life. countless! but i have this group of fwens in school- nyp.
sylvia: the
critic. she's straightforward and she says what she likes and what she dislikes. even though the truth hurts, she's there to make things right. at least, to lessen the hurt by telling us the truth.
m0usee: the
mentor. she's there to lend a shoulder or ear- always. don't see her as one who's wacky and all. she means what she says and heyys, everything does makes sense. especially her advices- she's like a doctor who can give her utmost in advices and will support you to make things right.
xinying: the
cheerleader. she's there to give you the moral support. whatever the outcome may be, she gives her utmost support, that's cause she knows that you're truly happy in doing whatever you're doing. she's the best person to have around, cause she gives you the confidence you lack.
yourself: the
life of the group. you're there- always letting us have the better half of you. but you're great, cause you simply laugh off and make a bull out of everything as well. we can crack jokes with you anywhere and anytime. although you always call yourself the walking joke, wells- you're not. just simply someone who can carry jokes well and especially one who can laugh it off well.
look! this is my group of fwens i'm hanging out with now. impressive? i find it impressive. its enough to motivate me to be a better person too.
so you!!
hang on in there. we're all there with you- hanging out too!!
don't cry yourself to sleep again. or rather anymore.
i love you to bits!
*smuckz*
[
dreamt `]
at
11:50 PM
