am-`
michelle
black girl aka chocolate (:
28o81985
twenty-two
cafe del mar
beach captain
promiscuous
workaholic
alcoholic
shopaholic
procrastinator
party animal
beach bummer
lovee-`
my dearest sweethearts(:
my darling girlfriends (:
ah-bee (:
hugs&kisses
interlocked fingers
playing in the rain
sunrise&sunset
fireworks
star gazing
retail therapy
party therapy
food haven
speed rides
hard liquor, bubbly champagne
sweets!
wants-`
braids/cornrolls?
new phone
new watch
new hair makeover
sneakers/flats/heels/boots
skinny haviannas
newurbanmale clock
jacket/pullover/cardigan
the boyfriend's shirt
one more boyfriend's shirt
skinny belt
paul smith floral perfume
diesel perfume
calvin klein europhia perfume
calvin klein eternity perfume
dior fahrenheit 32 perfume
kenneth cole RSVP perfume
that ray bans shades
marc ecko E850361
full body massage&spa
lose 5kg
trip down to port dickson (:
photo with *him
a good holiday!
vehicle license
you-`
alinah`
alison`
joan`
jo-ann`
lynnly`
pek geok`
regina`
nadiah`
helly`
song`
linette`
eunice`
bala`
dizzy`
joleen`
lays`
Sunday, October 23, 2005
i'm tired. i really am.
not meaning the physical me. i mean the emotional and mental me. perhaps, i've tasted how bitter this painful memory lane. perhaps, i've tried it once too much and now it has burnt the tip of my tongue. the same as it has hurt my inner self.
i guess it's time for me to move on. i know that it's difficult to move on without closure. but i guess what my girlfriends say is true.
they don't wish for me to ask for any closure, for fear another round of emotional hurricane. they're doing for my good and for my safety. sighs.
i know they're really sweet. but i don't like things to be left hanging. but i guess, nothing's much left to say for us. perhaps, the closure i want will never be the closure i want. i'll probably hurt myself even more then.
sighs.
i thought i was strong enough.
but i guess i was wrong.
i need to pick up the pieces again. yes, it's hurting to pick up the shattered pieces with my bare hands, alone. but it'll hurt more if i don't even wish to pick them up. i'll stay broken for along time. and i don't wish for that happen.
i want to be strong.
he knew me as a independent and strong ladiee.
i'll prove him right.
and to the others who loves me too.
but i'll have to fight it out within myself.
i'll have to hurt myself to the end to break free.
to forget.
and move on.
yes, someone who i still like.
but of no value am i to him now.
no point of waiting.
no point of holding on.
just no point.
plain pointless.
i must move on.
i can't be selfish to not think of the feelings of the people around me.
they're the real people who cares about me.
they're the real people who loves me.
i must move on.
i must be strong.
will i make it in the end?
[
dreamt `]
at
12:37 AM
