am-`
michelle
black girl aka chocolate (:
28o81985
twenty-two
cafe del mar
beach captain
promiscuous
workaholic
alcoholic
shopaholic
procrastinator
party animal
beach bummer
lovee-`
my dearest sweethearts(:
my darling girlfriends (:
ah-bee (:
hugs&kisses
interlocked fingers
playing in the rain
sunrise&sunset
fireworks
star gazing
retail therapy
party therapy
food haven
speed rides
hard liquor, bubbly champagne
sweets!
wants-`
braids/cornrolls?
new phone
new watch
new hair makeover
sneakers/flats/heels/boots
skinny haviannas
newurbanmale clock
jacket/pullover/cardigan
the boyfriend's shirt
one more boyfriend's shirt
skinny belt
paul smith floral perfume
diesel perfume
calvin klein europhia perfume
calvin klein eternity perfume
dior fahrenheit 32 perfume
kenneth cole RSVP perfume
that ray bans shades
marc ecko E850361
full body massage&spa
lose 5kg
trip down to port dickson (:
photo with *him
a good holiday!
vehicle license
you-`
alinah`
alison`
joan`
jo-ann`
lynnly`
pek geok`
regina`
nadiah`
helly`
song`
linette`
eunice`
bala`
dizzy`
joleen`
lays`
Thursday, March 09, 2006
i'm feeling lonely. depressed's probably the word to suggest to others how i exactly feel. to feel lonely and left out is painful enough. not having any assurance is even more painful.
sometimes, i wonder what's giving me the strength to actually still hold on for so long. especially when i've not seen him for a total of 122 days. am i the naive little girl who still believes in the 4 letter word called- L.O.V.E?
probably.
how "romantic"!
i wonder what drug i've consumed to hold on for so long. sighs. do i really like him that much to hold on even after not seeing him for 122 days? i've no direct answer to reply to that question i pose to myself everyday. am i tormenting myself? perhaps.
tsk tsk.
those who encouraged me to spill the beans to him are now telling me not to waste my time. isn't it the same as just sitting on the fence? wouldn't it be the same as telling me at the first place not to tell him my feelings? i guess, i'm always the silly naive girl- who never learns. there's nothing in my dictionary that explains to me in simple terms on fixing the problem. yes, call me a hopeless lover.
wells, i guess i just wish to hear from him and be assured that he's doing fine. i do miss him badly and really wish to see him.
in these 122 days which i've not seen him- i've actually dropped a tear for him. yes, i actually did. the person i hold close to my heart pushed me away and asked me to look for someone better; and to move and not to waste my time on him. sighs. it literally broke my heart into pieces. what could i say? i shot him back and asked him a question- don't you miss me? the reply he gave was what i wanted- yes. that was it! i just told him i'll still hold on and pushing me away will not make things better. instead, it'll hurt both of us even more.
sighs. am i holding expectations of him now? especially when i've not seen him for so long already.
i miss him badly.
it's a real pity.
friends i hold dear to my heart know who this special someone is, but yet i'm not able to disclose him name.
pray and give me luck.perhaps the time i can type his name out front will be when i'm happy with him.
now, let's just call him- dear. just the way i call him.(:
[
dreamt `]
at
11:09 PM
