Saturday, November 10, 2007
somehow, someway, somewhere- you'll be able to find comfort out of the messed up world that we live in. no matter how hard it seems, that spark of light will always be there. yes, it's probably hidden behind all the masks that i've been wearing everyday. and now, i'm too tired to even don the mask.
perhaps, i've been too busy.
perhaps, i've been too intoxicated to notice.
perhaps, i've always turned a deaf ear to it.
perhaps, i've never learned.
but now, its different.
why do we, woman always be-little ourselves to the faces of men? why do we- woman always follow the footsteps that the men have placed before us? have we not noticed the many times we've been hurt time after time?
yes, the truth hurts. but we've probably forced ourselves to go through the pain of no other because we chose to.
we choose to listen to the sweet nothings that he blabbers.
we choose to believe his explanation of why he never called or why he was late, etc.
we choose to trust him with no fear that he'll one day turn his back on us.
we choose to share with him the most intimate moments in everyday that passes.
we choose to believe that our hearts will beat as one.
cliched as it might sound, its true.
i can vouch for it.
silly as it may be, i was a fool myself.
a fool that no one's word mattered as much as his does.
tears fall uncontrollably when the night forces the lonliness out from you. you shudder at the thought of seeing urself alone in the middle of the night, waking up to still expect to see his body laying beside you. your heart and body yearns for his touch and security, wishing he felt the same. but nothing is forever.
no man will lay his life down with words of wisdom that he'll always put the woman at his priority. no man will hold on to his words of always being there for the woman, no matter how hard or far it is. there is no happy ending to this game called love.
or rather, having skeptically calculated with the drastic numbers of heartbreaks around- the percentage of having found a good man is probably just 3 out of 10(let's not be too mean to the rest of the people out there). but then again, how long or far will these 3 go?
i'm tired of having to be-little my value or dignity towards man anymore.
i'm tired of having to wonder what man wonders anymore.
i look away from those eyes of men, disgusted.
disgusted that they choose to see flesh as new meat or new prey.
disgusted that they choose to feed on their prey to satisfy their lust.
disappointed that we, woman still unknowingly fall into their trap.
i was one.
stupid silly one- having my heart broken, had my mind twisted, had my emotions swinging high&low as if it was a yo-yo.
i've learned my lesson.
i'm moving on.
i know in my heart, there's always people who will love me for who i am and what i am. no matter what happens, they'll be there for me as my bestest friend and will probably never judge me for being an idiot for doing the craziest things i always do. i know they'll hug me and hold my head up and make me repeat that "I LOVE MYSELF MORE".
they?
simply you- my girlfriends.
my loves, my sweethearts <3
[
dreamt `]
at
3:03 PM
