am-`
michelle
black girl aka chocolate (:
28o81985
twenty-two
cafe del mar
beach captain
promiscuous
workaholic
alcoholic
shopaholic
procrastinator
party animal
beach bummer
lovee-`
my dearest sweethearts(:
my darling girlfriends (:
ah-bee (:
hugs&kisses
interlocked fingers
playing in the rain
sunrise&sunset
fireworks
star gazing
retail therapy
party therapy
food haven
speed rides
hard liquor, bubbly champagne
sweets!
wants-`
braids/cornrolls?
new phone
new watch
new hair makeover
sneakers/flats/heels/boots
skinny haviannas
newurbanmale clock
jacket/pullover/cardigan
the boyfriend's shirt
one more boyfriend's shirt
skinny belt
paul smith floral perfume
diesel perfume
calvin klein europhia perfume
calvin klein eternity perfume
dior fahrenheit 32 perfume
kenneth cole RSVP perfume
that ray bans shades
marc ecko E850361
full body massage&spa
lose 5kg
trip down to port dickson (:
photo with *him
a good holiday!
vehicle license
you-`
alinah`
alison`
joan`
jo-ann`
lynnly`
pek geok`
regina`
nadiah`
helly`
song`
linette`
eunice`
bala`
dizzy`
joleen`
lays`
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
sigh. i'm soOoOo not used to being out of school. heh. oh wells, i've got to start loving it. cause when its time for me to start working, it'll be bye-bye to slack time.
anyways, went back to nyp to swim today. sun's good :)) had a good tan. nice nice!! swam from 1130 to 1230. yupz, had a nice tan. i'm going to continue going swimming. must lose weight wor!! fat fat le. sobz-
going with regina and gang over to the gym of friday. and hopefully, can have a game of badminton too :)) haven't really had a real game for ages. the last intensive game i had was prolly in sec 2/3. oh wells, anna said i was lying. probably? but the last not-so-intensive game was the inter-school badminton tournament, in which we came in fourth. i miss intensive games. sigh. i'm crossing my fingers on the game of badminton. carmen still owes me one. sigh. i doubt i can even play well now, considering the amount of lard put on. oh wells, its pretty time to shake it off.
am i a female-casanova? heh. perhaps perhaps.
there's currently 2 persons in my mind. the first person has been there for quite a long time, but its an on-off thingy. just recently, there has been another guy who's caught my eye. heh. he's much older den me. and yes, it's like a small girl's crush. heh. he should be 5 years older den me. woah?! apparently, this is the first person i've ever crushed on who is so much older. sheesh :)) but he's really cute. knew him only for 2 days. but we didn't actually converse personally or directly. he's looks american but is actually a malay. wells, it all happened when he was teaching us during training. because there was only 9 of us for training, so i sat in the middle of everyone. he stands in the front of the class and usually leans on the stand which is right in front of me. and he always looks at people in the eye and talk, which he does very often. and because i'm directly in his view, i'm always looking into his eyes. heh. it sounds really kinky aye? but he's quite a drag as well. we call him "jim carrey" and he always acts "hurt" which make us laugh even more. but sigh, he's just one cute guy. heh. just an infatuation. about the other guy? wells, it's currently an off thing. sigh. somehow, i'm not even sure why things turn out this way. sad? maybe. disappointed is the right word to use. is it because i hold high hopes on him? i think highly of him? perhaps. but i guess, disappointment's what i can say of him now. to put it off simply, imagine a little kid who drops his ice-cream while eating. he'll cry or probably look at the adults with a pout and tears welling up in his eyes. wells, perhaps that's how i feel. just minus the tears in my eyes.
i'm feeling empty within. it feels hollow enough to shatter if it falls. but if i were to shatter, will there be anyone out there who would pick the pieces back? sigh.
why the sudden emotions? wells, just think about it. i'm currently out of school and officially entering the working world. just imagine the amount of politics you have to shield yourself away from. sigh. somehow, i miss all the days in school. dating from sjc to nyp. me- a deliquent in sjc. now grown to someone so different that the teachers are proud of. and in nyp- running as a leader and given responsibilities which i never got to experienced back in sjc. its all new experiences which one has to go through. wells, i've gone through through the punishment to achievements, and suddenly i don't wish to stop at where i am now. i wish to go on and push forward for more. i miss all my teachers in sjc, my lecturers in nyp. can i not grow anymore?
i miss my old self.
somehow, the scars never leave. the memories never forgotten.
my first tear for a girl. my first tear for a guy.
i miss everything.
all the memories will not be forgotten.
they'll be all kept in the deepest part of my heart.
loves!
[
dreamt `]
at
10:21 PM
