am-`
michelle
black girl aka chocolate (:
28o81985
twenty-two
cafe del mar
beach captain
promiscuous
workaholic
alcoholic
shopaholic
procrastinator
party animal
beach bummer

lovee-`
my dearest sweethearts(:
my darling girlfriends (:
ah-bee (:
hugs&kisses
interlocked fingers
playing in the rain
sunrise&sunset
fireworks
star gazing
retail therapy
party therapy
food haven
speed rides
hard liquor, bubbly champagne
sweets!

wants-`
braids/cornrolls?
new phone
new watch
new hair makeover
sneakers/flats/heels/boots
skinny haviannas
newurbanmale clock
jacket/pullover/cardigan
the boyfriend's shirt
one more boyfriend's shirt
skinny belt
paul smith floral perfume
diesel perfume
calvin klein europhia perfume
calvin klein eternity perfume
dior fahrenheit 32 perfume
kenneth cole RSVP perfume
that ray bans shades
marc ecko E850361
full body massage&spa
lose 5kg
trip down to port dickson (:
photo with *him
a good holiday!
vehicle license

you-`
alinah` alison` joan` jo-ann` lynnly` pek geok` regina` nadiah` helly` song` linette` eunice` bala` dizzy` joleen` lays`

pump a heartbeat to me-`

Wednesday, December 28, 2005
life's been bumpy these few days. sighs, what can i say about them? my life pretty just sucks every other day. no big deal, i guess.

it's a few days to the year 2006. i wouldn't say i'm really excited, neither would i say i'm not. i would rather say it's a mixed feeling i have. i'm pretty excited about a new year to come, a new opportunity and a new start but then again, i'll be carrying wounds that have not been healed over to the new year. wounds that have not been healed, or rather not given a chance to heal. i'll be lying if i say that it doesn't bother me or that it doesn't hurt cause it does bother and hurt me. hell lot!

i wish to be given a chance- to explain myself and to hear an explanation myself.

perhaps, i'm still being stubborn and not willing to let go. naive aye? but it was you who said it wasn't silly cause there's no stupid or clever in being in love. you said to follow my heart and do what my heart really wants. i agree that outsiders can only give me the advice, but the final decision be it good or bad still lies in my hands. you said that you'll be there for me to pick me up and to catch me when i fall- especially when i fell for you. now that you're gone, i'm left with just sweet nothings that i'm surprisingly still holding onto. have i gone dependent on your sweet nothings to me? or have i just fell hard again?

i'm tired of being this way. after the different incidents that happened in this 6 months, i'm no longer the me i used to be. is it because i've been affected by the different incidents? perhaps. afterall, i did put my heart into them but got nothing out of it. just a heartbreak which left me scarred. i've lost it once- being silly to get myself drunk over an idiot. it does make me feel silly when i think back about it. now, i've caused myself to fall hard for another. am i just not given a chance to feel what's it to be happy? am i just too young to understand what it means to feel loved? it really does makes me think if i'm jinx-ed cause everything's smooth till the something happens that causes me to lose everything.

sighs.

life's in a tumble.
if only he's back.

i miss him.
alot.

[dreamt `]
at 12:29 AM